The Paper Gardens

A bit of an explanation is required to fully understand why I decided to rate this book at two stars instead of one. I really should have given it only one star. I hate having to say it, but this book was that bad. Understand that I'm not doing this to be mean.

The punctuation was either missing, or in the wrong place entirely. This wasn't a case of one or two sentences being messed up. It was the entire book. If you stretched out all of the run-on sentences in this book, you'd walk miles trying to follow what they're saying. The story itself was poorly structured, with one time period flowing into another without warning, and absolutely no explanation for what exactly is going on. The entire thing was written in a poorly edited first person, present tense, which is hard to read even when done properly.

So why didn't I just go ahead and give it the one star? Because it became a sort of fascination for me, seeing the way the sentences were put together. I'm still seriously trying to figure out if I just got a bad copy of the book, or if that's actually how it's supposed to read. It's like...it's like watching a badly dubbed foreign film. It's so bad that you just have to look at it and say, "Wait...really?"

I kept score in this one. Here are some of my favorite sentences. These are all written down *exactly* how they appeared in the book:

"Becoming a monster of immense proportions only to turn his hatred into a sire of five other originals to own the deepest darkest corns of this hell we call earth."

"Harland, I am new to this the only reason I am already the medicine woman is because our original medicine woman died of fever last winter, I was still training and still considered her Apprentice, under supervision I would have no reservation believing your boy would survive. All I can say is I'm going to do everything in my power to save your youngest child. Make sure you also pray to the tribal ancestors (spirit guides)"

"Having said this, he stands and exits apparently sure, I will follow his instructions."

"I lick the dripping blood from my fingertips and watch Vemeri eyes glaze over and his body begins involuntary twitching..."

"Just as we finish our reassurances, I hear a commotion in the hall, apparently Alexander's youngest brother, who I am just now learning of."

"Feeling elated as I walk hand in hand with Alex."

How does this have a 4.5 star rating? Nobody else mentions any of these problems. It's part of what makes me think I just got a bad copy of the book from Amazon.

Well. Editorial problems aside...

The plot jumps from one storyline to the next with absolutely no warning. There's two short plots to go through before you get to the actual story. Instead of putting all of the back story in the prologue, half of it is lumped in with the story itself, so that the *real* story doesn't start happening until chapter five.

There is no characterization. There is no character motivation. There are just pieces on a set, being moved around and made to have sex with each other.

We know nothing about Lea, the main character. The only information we have about her is where she came from, and the story does nothing to make us relate with her. The first time we're introduced to her, she's already halfway bound to Alexander (who also just shows up out of nowhere). They have sex. They laugh. They fight a battle. The end.

It could have been a better book. The premise is interesting enough. If it had been edited better, it might have been tolerable. Please...if I just got a bad copy of the book, would someone tell me? I'm going to have nightmares about all of that broken English getting such a high rating. *shivers*